She was not quite clear how she should find it, but she felt she would. She was never able to trace the changes her attitude had undergone, from the time when she believed herself to be the pampered Queen of Fortune, the crown of a good man’s love (and secretly, but nobly, worshipping some one else), to the time when she realized she was in fact just a mannequin for her lover’s imagination, and that he cared no more for the realities of her being, for the things she felt and desired, for the passions and dreams that might move her, than a child cares for the sawdust in its doll. 62 <8> A FIRST DATE WITH JOHN DIEDERMAYER The weekend began for her with that luxury of all luxuries, sleep. “I love some one else. Come down, I say, instantly, or I'll make you. But when Ruth's hand fell gently upon his bony head, he knew that no one in this house would ever offer him a kick. "Oh, Rollo, there are so many things I don't know! But you love me, don't you?" Rollo wagged his stump violently and tried to lick her face. Wood, contemptuously, "he'll never mend till he comes to Tyburn. ” The talk was animated, and remained always brilliant in form even when it ceased to be brilliant in substance. The curtain before one mystery was torn aside, and she saw in reality what lay behind the impulse that had led her into the young man's room. Availing himself of certain inequalities in the door, he soon managed to climb up to the roof; and securing his feet against a slight projection in the wall, began to use the fork with great effect. She would just walk out of the house and go. “And children must we women bear— “Oh, damn!” she cried, as the hundred-and-first couplet or so presented itself in her unwilling brain.
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